I forgot cosmosextips was less insane than actual Cosmo.
Just fuckin’ land on his penis.
this is like bad fanfic but in tutorial mode
- *about to get murdered*
- murderer: any last words
- me: imagine how is touch the sky
- *escapes while murderer tries to figure it out*
i grew up with a single mother on welfare, this ad campaign made me cry so hard when i first saw it on buzzfeed (www.buzzfeed.com/regajha/this-ad-campaign-will-make-you-rethink-the-way-you-see-under)
vaginas are so ugly and penises are so ugly too why cant genitals be cute and pretty
i need to get a real job so i can stop crying over expensive lingerie and start crying in expensive lingerie
Great things to say during intercourse:
- Yes, this is agreeable
- Excellent. I’ll note this down in my memoirs
- What a surprising twist!
- Aren’t human beings remarkable?